No pictures, just a story

As many of you know dad is out of town so mom is flying solo. Flying solo is fun because random things get to happen. Take tonight's bath for example.

Zane is in the tub and Lily is walking around naked in the closed door bathroom. She looks up and sees her potty. I have not even begun to think about potty training with so much going on, plus they are only 17 months (almost). She aggressively points at her potty and does her "MMMPH" grunt, which means want. Who am I to not give her a potty. The more she's interested in it the better for everyone. I get it down off the counter and give it to her.

She proudly turns around and backs her butt up to it and sits down with a big smile. My child is a genius. She then points to the toilet paper, stands up, turns around, waves and says. BUH BYE! You can guess from these actions she has seen mom in action for a long time now and yes, mom waves bye bye in front of the kids. The smile on her face is precious and I wish I had this moment on video tape. But we all know nowadays that would land me in jail.

I finish Zane and do the switcheroo. Zane looks at the potty and tries to figure out how to use it as a weapon. He picks it up over his head and I put it back down. I say to him, no Zane, this is a potty. You go pee-pee and poo-poo in here. He looks at me like "lady did you ever think you'd be saying this as you accepted your grad school diploma?" I reiterate. Peepee and poop only, you know peeeeee and uuuurgggggh. ...big mistake. Making the poop uuurrrgggggh noise is pavlovian to my child. He squats on the floor and by the time I realize what he's doing it's too late. I look over and there is a huge, and I mean huge even by adult standards, pile on the floor. I jump up and say, AHHHHH, wait wait wait! Too late again.

He sees what is now on the bathmat and does the mexican hat dance smooshing it into the bathmat and up through is toes. The grin on his face goes from ear to ear. I scream, NO NO AHHH, WAIT, NO! This only excites him and he starts running around the bathroom tracking it all over the bathmats and tile floor. I try to start picking up mats and reach for toilet paper to get some of this mess up. He sees me picking it up and reaches down to his feet to pick it up himself. Now it's all over his hands. He tries to hand it too me and throws it in my lap. NO!!! AHHHHHH I'm screaming. He screams AHHHHHH back, loving this game.

Meanwhile, Lily is just sitting in the tub playing with the toys watching the whole thing unfold saying nono nonono and wagging her finger.

Alas, I was able to get mats in the wash, the tile cleaned and the child re-bathed, but it put our bedtime a little late tonight. Gotta love toddlerhood.